自信不夠!
"Not projecting yourself with confidence can take away your credibility"
The confidence issue was brought up again by the supervisor...urghh..
Why is this? personality? culture? ability?
Personality: 99%
Culture: i hate to take every problem and dip it into a pot of cultural awareness.
Ability: no way...yet I'm not as knowledgable as I hope to be, but does that mean I not competent enough?
It's interesting as how she puts it, and that they never encounter such a situation where the student knows what she needs to know, but was not performing to that level because of hesitance/lack of confidence.
其實同學間私底下也會聊到彼此的臨床表現,眼看同學們自信滿滿的批評某位同學"過度自信..表現並沒有她自認為的好," 但很現實地,指導實習的老師們,大多最欣賞這樣"過度自信"的人....我看在眼裡,班上清一色美國學生,不要說過度自信,也是一個個自信滿滿,和他們比起來,論印象分數,我的確是安靜很多,保守很多,容忍度很高但相對的意見少 (俗稱遜很多) (嘔耶 腦子裡的東西又不比別人少) ><
吼..好阿,有自信這麼吃香,我也只好依了,知道多少賣多少~
小記事: 記得我們小時候常被提醒要把"請謝謝對不起"掛在嘴邊吧? 上次在辦公事,一個supervisor唸了一封她收到的email給我們聽,內容是對一個問題提出建議,最後用thanks結束.我第一時間沒覺得不妥,只覺得這傢伙還蠻有禮貌的,但其他supervisor嗤之以鼻,覺得很笨,因為"給意見有什麼好道謝的?" @@
好吧 真的是我太無知嗎..常常認為給意見又要給的有禮貌是一種學問,最後丟上一句謝謝(有點像"敬請指教 謝謝")沒有什麼不對,不過從此以後,我不再隨便用謝謝了 ("對不以"也是...我常覺得台灣學生開口閉口抱歉來抱歉去的,有時候還抱歉得沒什麼道理..自己到後來也很少隨便用了,免得聽起來"很笨")
文化差異還是有,只是有些地方調整起來,小有不適.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
[實習] 一再被提起的自信
Monday, November 22, 2004
人緣有這麼差哦..@@
認真趕了好久的報告,深夜了,忍不住嚷著想吃宵夜,
好想念台灣夜市小吃 臭豆腐 蚵仔煎 珍奶 雞排..清單列不完啦
也想吃麻辣鍋的清鍋 尤其是鍋底的鴨血 阿 真受不了
才嚷完,就刺激不斷..
西岸: 這邊什麼都有耶
台灣: 等等要去買鹽酥雞唷,下了班還可以去吃麻辣鍋
嗚 我人緣真差
我媽說 慢慢等到明年回台灣吧..
喔 想回家~
Friday, November 19, 2004
李小白
李小白/李白白/李笨白/笨李白...她有叫不完的名字
據我阿姨說,之所以把狗狗叫李白,是取諧音"裡白",因為她毛色不是純白的
好吧..全台灣小學生都知道的大詩人之名,變我家狗狗的代號,
整條巷子的住戶都知道"李白"是隻熱情到不行的狗狗
小學生放學時間一到,我在房間都聽得到樓下接二連三的呼喊"李白" "李白"
接著是這群小客人逕自打開鐵門入內和李白白玩了起來
看來李笨白天天趴在家門口,面對巷子露出個黑鼻頭,也交了不少朋友
她對食物一向來者不拒,但就是不吃我們餵的乾狗糧,一定要拌肉罐頭才行-__-
吃得一身圓滾滾,她肚皮拍著拍著當真像鼓聲 "咚嚨咚嚨"
她那愛吃本性讓她一看到食物便自動坐下
腦子裡清楚得很,知道這樣被賞的機率會大大提升
"看到食物坐下"大概是她唯一學會的把戲
笨歸笨,李小白卻把我家門前的區域守護得很好
會對"看似非善類"的陌生人及狗狂吠,不過偶爾偶爾會亂來,對路人叫一叫(但聽起來像是找對象開開嗓),
也會對熟人又撲又舔,每每要鬧到被推開才肯四腳著地,然後樂呵呵地跟前跟後
晚上大家在看電視,她便獨自趴在一旁,偶爾傳出幾聲長嘆,
那時的李白白散發的愁滋味可適合作詩咧~
不過 今天收到我媽傳來的訊息
李白無預警地走了
當初用無辜神功被我阿姨帶回來,
之後便熱情愉悅地陪著一家人經歷過許多事
心跳停了,是否因為任務終了呢..
笨笨的李白白,無論在哪,要繼續單純快樂呦~
Thursday, November 18, 2004
[實習] Oh..a day to remember
2 MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
Successfully changed a brand of voice prosthesis that I had no previous success on ^^~*
Scoped a patient with a rigid endoscope today..without gagging this sweet person who was kind enough to trust my skills
[實習] Bananas
"Crazy" is not enough to project today's clinic
Accurately speaking, it's "patients from 8 to 5 with half an hour of lunch break."
Because everyone's schedule was packed with patients (some double-booked for every slot), I had a chance to talk to patients non-stop, and very often had to keep them company until the appropriate exam room became available.
We played a little room-swap for entertainment:
interviews..swap to whatever room was available, but not the one for scope, oh..not the one for TEP change, oh...not that one...nope..yeah, okay that room's okay. TEP room occupied, uh..get the stuff and we'll move to another room for TEP.
"Scope...he needs to be scoped....do you have time for a quick scope?"
"We have another one that needs to be seen by you" "Oh okay, be there in a minute, two minutes..."
The last one finally ended at five, even though the clinic was supposed to close at 4:30.
Walking by the waiting room..hmmm...there were still patients sitting there...waiting....
....B-A-N-A-N-A-S
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
to-do list
1. the never-get-done fluency project
2. AR final report (final draft)
3. neuro-blah blah term paper (I could never get the course title right)
4. neuro-blah blah lab assignment
5. master's thesis/candidacy paper 1st draft
6. routine outpatient clinic notes
I guess that's it..not too bad, not too bad.
Tuesday, November 2, 2004
[實習] "I'm upset"
她曾經是一天裡頭,第一個也是最開朗的病人
當初她愉悅樂觀,相當配合,臨走前不忘替我這實習生加油打氣
這回,她是一天裡頭最後一位,也是最讓我不忍的病人
她為那莫名的疾病所苦,這次回來,她渴望聽到一致且"正面"的看法,但無法如願..
這位老太太,在先生寸步不離的陪伴下,經歷連串的檢查與折騰,
從神經科醫師那得到的結論,是可剔除他們最不想聽到的病症,
可想而知,這原本是件多麼令人歡欣鼓舞的事..
只是..呈現在我們眼前的症狀與那份診斷..客氣點說..是不大相同的
supervisor基於職業判斷及道德,不願冒然提供治療,以免造成傷害
在冗長的解說及討論後,老夫婦倆表示理解及感謝,
但他們沮喪的心情頓時衝擊了整個診間
老太太用盡力氣扯出一絲聲音,
邊掉淚邊強顏歡笑地道著兩年來身心上的折磨..."I'm upset.."
我相信她不願意被打倒,她是活力充沛的老太太,
有深愛她也心疼她的老伴 陪著護著支持著她
我們除了遞上面紙,待她平靜下來,此時也無法多做什麼
他倆心裡的苦,我想是沒有人能體會的
至於那個他們不願聽到的病症,卻是我們心中的答案之一
單憑報告上那些檢查項目就剔除這多變得病症,並不具說服力,
然而,如果是我一人面對這狀況,現在的我是無法像supervisor那樣,
語氣堅定且直接地告訴他們,我們不支持那份診斷,我還無法傳遞這樣令人失望的結果
在明示暗示下,老夫婦接收到supervisor的訊息,認為不該剔除該病症
老太太態度開放地思索尋找第二意見,重新接受它的可能性
老先生...大概心很痛吧..斥責太太 "不要這樣說,沒有人說妳得那個病..."
說罷,一把把老太太摟在懷裡,表情堅定地說:
"She's a lovely lady. We'll do everything we can to make her even more lovely."